The relationship between fault and blame tends to be centred on negative life events. e.g. You don’t get blamed for passing an exam or your driving test. On the contrary you are congratulated for those events. Fault and blame is about what went wrong / not according to plan or a negative outcome. In this sense blame is a negative emotion not a positive one.
If someone is at fault for a negative event by blaming them as well, we reinforce that fault.
If you were a tennis coach trying would be the best way to get the best out of the player you are coaching? Certainly in life coaching the answer is NO. We need our player to have power and all negative emotions do the opposite…they disempower.
Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving. Albert Einstein
The function of blame is simply to establish responsibility. However if we are affected by a negative event where someone else is to blame do we react or do we respond? We have a choice. Either can be appropriate according to the circumstances. However, in general responses are likely to be more powerful. This is because they usually less emotional and come after some thought or reflection on what consequences may arise afterwards.
Returning to our video character, when we view life as a journey, we always have the option to keep moving. We don’t have to stop at Blame. We can move on toward responsibility.
Taking responsibility becomes the key action for moving forwards with our lives particularly when other people in our environment ( at home, work, school etc.) are involved.
A brief glimpse at responsibility